A Defining Moment!!!

Okay, yesterday we had our pre-op appointments and testing. Once again they had to remind me of all the things that can go wrong. Some of you have asked me what those things are but my little pea brain can not retain such information. Get a load of this. Here it is, word for word:

The care provider has discussed with me the reasonably foreseeable risks of the treatment and that there may be undesirable results. The risks that are specifically related to this procedure include:
Infection, bleeding, risks of anesthesia, stroke, blood clots, heart attack, death, pulmonary embolism, deep vein thrombosis, numbness of upper and lower extremities, hernia, bowel obstruction, injury to adjacent structures (colon, pancreas, duodenum, spleen), graft failure in the recipient, possibility of kidney failure in the future, conversion from laparoscopic to open nephrectomy.

YEOWZERS!!! DEATH... Helloooooo, folks if you want me to sign this thing you're gonna have to tone it down a bit. You know that old saying "what you don't know won't hurt you?" well let's go there instead :)!